Living Fearlessly in Life and Golf

It seems that as a person experiences life transitions, resilience becomes more and more important.  As someone once said, “It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you react.”

In an article for Newsweek magazine, Captain Chesley B. Sullenberger III of US Airways Flight 1549 stated : “…people who are in their own personal crisis—a pink slip, a foreclosure--can be reminded that no matter how dire the circumstance, or how little time you have to deal with it, further action is always possible.  There’s always a way out of even the tightest spot.  You can survive.”  And survive he did, along with his crew and all the passengers, in that emergency landing on New York’s Hudson River.

Perhaps you are experiencing your own personal crisis─the loss of a spouse, a job, a dear friend, or simply the loss of youth you once enjoyed so fearlessly.  How would you respond?  Some react as Capt. Sullenberger did by remaining focused on the outcome and never giving up. Others react by blaming some one or some thing for the spot in which they find themselves rooted.  Others take on the victim role by becoming helpless and despairing.  Others immediately start imagining all sorts of dire possibilities---being forever dependent, being all alone, becoming an invalid, or giving up pursuits they once enjoyed.  Life looks bleak indeed. 

At the very root of all these reactions is fear.  According to Dr. Gio Valiante: “Fear confuses us, limits us, and causes us to achieve less than our abilities otherwise would allow”.  Fear is often in response to what if’s rather than what is.   This fear coupled with negative self-talk leads you down the path of self-fulfilling prophecies.  Rather than focusing on what can be accomplished, you retreat into what if’s and inaction.

In golf there is a phenomenon called the bounce-back factor.  For example, you have a great round going when an errant tee shot rockets out of bounds.  You may tell yourself, “Well, that does it!”  After all, you are two strokes down and still on the tee.  Instead of a birdie or a par you’re looking at a possible bogey or worse.  Do you tell yourself, “Well I just blew this round.  Might as well forget it.”  Or do you look to blame some one (so-and-so talked just when I was ready to hit the ball), or some thing (this tee box is in terrible shape)?   Or, do you tell yourself, “Not to worry.  One shot at a time.  What’s my target?  What’s my line?”   You, then, finish the hole and go on to bounce back with a par or better on the next hole.

In life, just as in golf, YOU can bounce back.  It takes a healthy outlook (Not to worry), a certain premeditated attitude of hope and determination (One thing at a time) to come out on top regardless of what life throws your way.  It is focusing (What’s my target, what’s my line), on what is and being blind to what if’s.  Louis Pasteur had the bounce back factor.  He said, “Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my success.  My strength lies solely in my tenacity.” 

Whether you call it tenacity, resilience, or the bounce-back factor, you can kick-start the outcome to adversity when you remind yourself, it’s not what happens to you that really matters.  It’s what you choose to think about it, and in turn do about it.  It’s overcoming fear with the added bonuses of experience and wisdom.  It’s living fearlessly.